Yoplait
by DialogueWAT
Summary: In which Robin has a power, Kid Flash can eat no more and yoplait is french for yogurt. Crack for all, gen.


As it seems to be the thing to do, this is a repost from the YJ meme. I highly recommend everyone go find a prompt to fill, if anything this fill should prove all attempts are welcome. Crack, Gen and author confusion over dialogue writing included.

Original prompt and fill: yj-anon-meme . livejournal . com / ?thread=3685385#t3685385

I own nothing.

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><p>Kaldur stood on top of the building looked around at his team mates, who had apparently lucked out in the hero-villain pair off.<p>

To his west, Superboy was finding out how many ways he could smash a robot to pieces while M'gann was helping Artemis battle a collection of giant grumpy stuffed toys and Kid Flash was..._ eating?_ His way through the various culinary delights his villain was throwing as a last minute attempt to distract him. Needless to say, the villain was getting increasingly frustrated at his failed attempts.

To his south–east, Robin's selection of mooks seemed to be attacking each other.

And Aqualad? What had monstrous evil had the illustrious leader bagged himself? It appeared to be a 80 meter high blob of yogurt. Mango to be exact.

How the hell was he supposed to deal with this? _Water_ it down to submission? It wasn't even really doing all that much, mainly causing an extreme traffic hazard and leaving giant dollops of yogurt everywhere.

Maybe he could electrocute it? Well... No, that didn't work and now the blob had stopped oozing it's way down the street and was turning towards him. Wa- was it looking at him? It had no face, there was no way it was looking at him! Oh god, now it had formed a face and it looked... devastated? There was absolutely no reason, logical or otherwise, a giant blob of mango yogurt would be able to pull off the kicked puppy look.

The blob was now slowly making it's way towards him, stopping right in front of Aqualad. It towered over him, staring at him, focusing on him, with it's empty yogurty eye-sockets.

It had made it's decision.

With speed never before seen on any yogurt blob, mango or otherwise, it swung it's... arm? ... down towards Aqualad, who beat a hasty retreat, dodging the arm of yogurt as it plunged into the top of the building and defying all expectations by destroying half the frontage of the building. Perhaps it was less harmless than previously thought.

Aqualad was tugged out of the way as the blob continued it's high paced jabs at Aqualad.

"Wheew" whistled Wally as he dashed out of the way of another attack.

Conner, having exhausted all his test subjects for smashing practice, ran, at street level, towards the blob and punched it. It resulted in less of a punch and more of a squidge. This blob would be more of a challenge to smash. With increasing fervour and frustration, Superboy continued to punch the yogurt whilst the blob took to giggling.

Finally, _finally_, Superboy hit something solid and the blob stilled instantly. Seeing this as a positive sign that he was getting somewhere, Conner grabbed at the solid insides of the blob and pulled.

Grunting with effort he tugged, _pulled and pulled and pulled and_ heaved _and pulled and pulled and pulled and_** yanked**. With a sharp ploink, Superboy found himself holding a large metal object with two round circular sections with a triangular thing in the middle. It was a bicycle. The blob sighed in relief, seemingly sated for the moment it slumped towards the ground and Conner found himself jumping back as he dodged the increasing circumference of the blob.

An arrow was launched into the middle of the blob announcing the appearance of Artemis and Miss Martian. The arrow went straight trough the blob hitting an adjacent building and exploding a small section of brick.

Megan, Artemis and Superboy joined Aqualad and Kid Flash on the roof.

'I can't get a hold on it' thought Megan 'it is constantly slipping out of my grasp'

An echoing cackle signalled the arrival of Robin to Aqualad's rooftop.

"Sooo... How's it looking Aqualad?"

"I am not certain as to how to handle this situation. Physical attacks seem to have no effect and arrows pierce straight though. Even if it were possible, it would take hours to water down yogurt of that mass and the resultant increase of liquid would likely cause localised flooding." Aqualad was at a loss as to how to suppress the blob.

"How about we eat it?"

Kaldur looked at Robin, stupefied.

"Weelll, KF has a 'serious metabolism' so he could take a fair chunk and then we could have a yogurt party. Bing your own spoons!"

Wally put his hand on Robins shoulder, head bowed in shame. "My metabolism has been eaten out, bro. That chef was packing enough appetisers for several all you can eat buffets."

"I never thought it would come to this" said Robin and Young Justice gazed at the blob, disheartened and/or frustrated. They had been defeated by yogurt.

"No, seriously" continued Robin "I honestly never thought there would ever be any use for this."

"You have a plan?" asked Aqualad.

Robin walked up to the temporally content blob, he sunk his hands into the blobs arm, which lay lazily on top of what was left of the roof. The arm seemed to harden. Expanding from the place Robin had touched, the blob froze into a solid shape, unable to move, much like Robins team mates who were looking on with varying shades of shock and confusion.

The entire team (sans Robin) was gaping.

"I can alter dairy products. It's kind of useless except for food consumption purposes so I've never seen the point in talking about it." Explained Robin, having the decency to look a little sheepish.

"What..."

"Now we can have a Frozen Mango Yogurt Party, FREE FROZEN MANGO YOGURT FOR ALL!" Robin cackled.

The rest of the team, in a daze, slowly joined him. Robin was clearly insane and this was clearly a dream. Still, the frozen yogurt was a delicious treat.


End file.
